“The Violet Flame” by Primal Painter
This is my latest Energy Art print entitled “The Violet Flame“. The violet flame is also called the flame of transmutation, freedom and forgiveness.. I really like this one, but then I say that about almost every new print I come up with. This one came about after I saw the Dalai Lama last week and he was talking about forgiveness.
Forgiveness…..sounds so easy but for me is so hard. I thought to myself “What the…? Why, why is it so freakin’ hard to forgive those mean people and circumstances that are ancient history but the scenario continues to play out in my brain?” Can anyone relate to this or is this just something I do?
Mostly what I’m having problems with are scenarios where I see myself as having been victimized in some way. I can say the words “I forgive you”…..nuthin’……I can cut the energetic cords to the people and situations involved…..nuthin’……I can put a shield around myself so those cords don’t re-attach….nuthin’…
I was driving to Fayetteville the other day, and here comes some re-runs that trigger a flare of anger. I decided to thank the Universe for having me live through these scenes of victimization, acknowledged that I still feel the anger, and envisioned the image above, “The Violet Flame“, as taking in that anger and burning it up, transforming it into forgiveness and compassion.
Within two seconds of envisioning the Violet Flame, I let out a howl of emotional pain. Vague flashes of faces and feelings were going through my mind. I had to pull off the road and had a full-on meltdown of crying, whining and sobbing, strange noises that I can’t even describe… good grief, you’d think I was being tortured. Then it was over….gone. That night, I had a dream that I was in a pleasant social situation with a few of the people who had hurt me in the past. Interesting….
This release didn’t cover everyone, unfortunately, but at least it’s a start. Also, I can clearly see that what’s under the anger and resentment is pain. I suppose now I have to keep doing it until all of it’s gone. Gah….always some kind of uncomfortable internal work to do….
I notice that the place I feel the constriction and blockage in my body is in my throat and neck. My throat chakra might be more damaged than I’d thought. It’s probably an ongoing thing that goes way back, but I wonder if it has something to do with when I was attacked and raped. The fat end of a glass bottle was rammed down my throat, and I couldn’t scream. Strangely, I couldn’t scream even before the bottle was down my throat. It was like a nightmare….And I haven’t really told the whole story, it’s like a deep shameful secret.
I wonder if I need to tell that story. I just don’t know if this blogging situation is the appropriate venue for it. I hate to think that something I’ve written has caused anyone to feel down or to feel sorry for me or anything of a negative nature. I’d rather make people smile and this story is very disturbing, yet it’s also a story of survival and a slow motion journey to healing. I don’t know, what do you think?
For some good news, Pixie Campbell, a fab Etsy artist and writer included “The Violet Flame” in her blog post the other day. I was stoked! Check it out: http://pixiecampbell.typepad.com/pink_coyote/2011/05/terra-incognita.html Within 24 hours of posting The Violet Flame in my Etsy Shop, I sold two prints, so that was super cool! Sometimes an image just resonates…
It’s not raining today (yet). It’s like living in a rain forest around here lately! I love rain forests, but oh how I miss my beloved sun and all the damage it does to my skin!
Have a good one!
Comments on: ">The Violet Flame" (7)
>I can relate. It's hard to forgive and forget. I can see why you are having issues with it. It sounds like you've had it pretty rough and tough girlfriend. On a lighter note…that Violet Flame is really neat. Made me think of the Goblet of Fire from Harry Potter.
>Eek. I agree with Della, it definitely sounds like you've had some rough times… I hope you're able to work through all of this and feel better!That Violet Flame is very pretty, great job… as usual. ❤ And congratulations on getting featured and selling two prints – how AWESOME!Hugs!Taylor Lynn ❤
>Thanks for the comments girls. I've been giving it some thought, and noticed that when I think about that experience I feel all oogey inside. That's a pretty strong sign that writing about it here isn't the right thing to do. Maybe a book format would be better, I've often had the thought that I'd write a book someday. I am feeling better. I think working on the chakras opens up things that need clearing, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to do that once and for all. Emotions are like waves, in and out, up and down….I'm ready for high tide and wildly fun waves!
>I hope you catch those fun waves! :)Your "Violet Flame" print is absolutely beautiful. To me, it's instructional that such beauty originated in the struggle to forgive. Judging from my own experiences, genuine forgiveness is a process and not something you can simply turn on and possess. The process is part of one's spiritual growth – at least it seems that way. I think it's so hard to forgive because doing so seems like surrender and capitulation to an injustice, and like self-betrayal. And in a case of violence, there's so much rage to work through.Sharing your story may help others, however you decide to share it. And helping others is really the ultimate triumph. I hope you don't mind me sharing these thoughts, and I wish you the absolute best in your art and on your spiritual path.
>I have big time problems forgiving and forgetting. I think it's the Irish in me. We forgive, but we never forget. I question if you can't forget, how to you fully forgive? A struggle daily for sure. I totally see the Goblet of Fire similarity!
>I personally find forgiving to be very difficult. Letting go of the anger that is usually attached to it has been one of my challenges. I've been working on some things of my own lately and have found my way back to journaling. Do you do that at all? Even the mornings when I can't still myself through meditation I find a peace in writing it all out. I discover things I didn't even know were bothering me (this morning for instance!) I'm glad you had a good bawl and released that energy and I think the dream is an awesome sign that you let go at least a little bit of the anguish inside you. It helps me to remember that everything that has occurred in my life has been created by me, for me. As painful as that sounds. 🙂 So there is a rhyme or reason to it all, even though I can't often see the big picture. I know you know all this, but sometimes it helps to be reminded! 🙂 I wish you lived closer to me, I can see many hours of good cleansing talks, blogger just doesn't seem to cut it here… The violet flame is a stunner, but they all are. We had sun for a couple of hours, the first time in a week. I'm craving more of it! 🙂
>Pretty Gonzo, your comments are very insightful, thank you for sharing and for the good thoughts. I've worked through many of the emotions of that experience (it's like the layers of an onion) but the one that evades me is the rage. Rage is such an uncomfortable feeling, and I think you're right, there's some element of self-betrayal when forgiving someone who almost killed me with brutal violence. Spiritual growth seems to be intensifying these days!Finding Charm, thank you for commenting. I hadn't thought about the Goblet of Fire until you and Della brought it up, but you're right! A Harry Potter marathon is on this weekend, I'll have to check out the Goblet of Fire. You're right about never forgetting….the mental and emotional re-runs are a killer. It's tricky and a huge spiritual challenge to overcome and learn from.Melinda, it would seem that many people have difficulties with the anger that seems to be a major obstacle for forgiveness. I wonder if it's because of the pain that's underneath the anger? Challenging to be sure…. I used to journal but haven't for quite awhile. I think it's a good idea to start it up again. I read somewhere about stream of consciousness writing which sounds like an interesting way to tap into the subconscious. It's funny that you mention how we create things ourselves. The book I've been reading by Esther and Jerry Hicks is all about that. I picked this book up on a whim last week. I've never really been drawn to channeled information before, but this book is so very on target with lots of goosebump filled moments. Another synchronistic event… The sun is out today, I feel some high energy coming on! Whee!