>Professional? Me? LOLOLOL

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I had a terrible nightmare last night, one of those where you wake up with a pounding heart, heavy breathing,and a generalized feeling of alarm (no, it wasn’t a sex dream involving oompa loompas or scary clowns).

In my dream, my hair was really messy and I was wearing my usual  jeans so heavily covered with every hue of paint I own that they’re really stiff, and I can only bend over  from the waist while keeping my legs straight. Then a disembodied voice, sounding suspiciously like Julia Child says “It would be-hoooooove you to present yourself in a more pro-fessh-ional manner.” 

First of all, that voice……(shudder) and second of all,  who says behoove and what does it mean and third of all, professional? Me?   I’ve pondered the wisdom of this advice, so in an effort to present myself more professionally, I present you with this video:

Take that Julia Child…….How do you like me now!.

Rebelliously yours,

Laurie

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>Bad Hair, Good Treasury

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Sadly, I can relate to this kitty and her bad hair, although as far as I know, I don’t have hair growing out of my ears…..yet.  Perhaps it would help if I were to get a haircut every three months instead of my usual birthday haircut and October haircut.  Every year, I  tell myself that I’ll do better with my hair , but I never do….I still take dull scissors to my bangs every couple of months to get them out of my eyes.  Usually by the time I actually go to the beauty shop (beauty shop? what is this, the fifties?), my bangs are sticking up at various heights and lengths, looking a little like, yes, yes, the kitty in the picture.  Come to think of it, that was the expression on my face this morning when I got the unfortunate glimpse of myself in the mirror. (I usually try to avoid mirrors whenever possible).  

On that note, I thought I would show off a really fun Etsy treasury that was curated by Gabardine Couture.   She’s from Switzerland and makes some really groovy handbags and other things too. 

(Disclaimer:  This treasury has nothing to do with bad hair or mirror avoidance, this is a super cool treasury whereas my appearance is not super cool and has nothing whatsoever to do with this super cool treasury and I don’t know why I even brought it up).

Click on any picture to go to the listing on Etsy:

‘°Psycho Dream°’ by GabardineCouture

Drop psychedelic handbag GabardineCoutu… $148.00	Fish in the Headlights – Pri… bconnordesign $17.00
Psycho Delic Record Clock EyePopArt $65.00	WabSab No. 7 SuperPsychedel… GentressMyrrh $35.00
Modern Abstract Painting Wal… primalpainter $95.00	PARTY ANIMALS COLoR PeNCilL… almalee $575.00
Psycho – Mod BrooklynQuiltE… $8.00	Turkey Swamp – Original Mand… EyePopArt $200.00
Splendid Sunburst…16×20 ma… LarryCarlsonSt… $65.00	Sweet Water Gem Mermaid Orig… LucidOpticLab $100.00
alien monster purple doll Ha… AlyshellsCraft… $28.00	Order Psychedelic – Handmad… rubyslounge $335.00
Oriental Space Bloom Fractal… infiniteedge $34.99	Life-size Dia de los Muertos… Jiveworks $450.00
Psycho Kitty (study) hughillustrati… $100.00	Hand-Stitched Brontosaurus /… beeankha $25.99

She featured one of my wall sculptures “Psychedelic Flower #1“, which was inspired by the movie “Avatar”.

(I really need to re-shoot some of my earlier photos, geeze……I’ll add that to my never-ending list.)

In other news:  I’m on an Etsy team called AREtsy, which is all Arkansas artists, and yesterday I was one of the featured artists on their blog!  I was excited to see it, and if you’d like to check it out, here’s the link:  http://aretsy.blogspot.com/2011/03/aretsy-featured-shop-primal-painter.html

Later,
 
Laurie

Treasury tool is sponsored by Lazzia.com A/B image testing.

>What The……?!

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This is me on a good day………..

This is me on a Fluctuating Whore Moans Day………

Up…..down……Up……..down      What the…..?!

Last night I had a dream that I had a chin hair that was two inches long.    What the…..?!

I signed up for a twitter account and accidently put my user name as “Primalpanter”.   What the….?!

 (Primalpanter, hehee, that’s funny)

My daughter will be 21 years old in 9 days.    What the…..?!

I’m going to be 50 years old  in 20 days.   What the……?!  

Wow, now that I see 50 years old in black and white, it’s more like a loud, high pitched squeal

WHAT THE…….?!!!

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go look for chin hairs…………

Feeling very weirdly yours,

Laurie

>Aftermath of Destruction

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NOOOOOOOOO………

The last couple of days I’ve been in the ole’ “stay in bed and cover up my head” funk, thanks to Carroll Electric coming into my yard and butchering my trees.  Sometimes being sensitive and empathic has it’s downfalls as I have a tendency to feel the pain and angst of everyone and everything, even trees. This was even worse than the Great Ice Storm of 2009 because of the added element of feeling victimized at the hands of a giant unfeeling profit-driven power hungry corporation, namely CARROLL ELECTRIC CO-OP (co-op my ass). 

Trees have a very smooth and pure vibration while the gi-normous buzz saw the electric company used to shred them was jolting and obnoxious, disturbing and violent.  I’m pulling out of it, though. They spared my almond tree on the condition that I transplant it, which is going to be a real trick at 12′ tall.  It’s a dwarf almond and shouldn’t get any bigger than 15′ to 18′ but they don’t care.

What’s done is done, so it’s time to snap out of my self-imposed disconnection from a world that seems  bent on so-called progress (greedy, profit driven, power-hungry progress) while disrespecting and sacrificing nature.  I’ll start thinking about what I’m going to plant in those ravaged areas of destruction.  Maybe pampass grass or evergreen red-tipped photinia.

I was thinking the other day that some wicked firethorn bushes would give those electric guys some nice little pricks….. little pricks for some big pricks…..Ha!  That’s just a fantasy, though…an evil satisfying fantasy where the firethorns come to life and pull the head honcho electric guy into a tangled maze of stabbing little pricks (how appropriate), while I look on and laugh…Bwah hahahhaha!!!!!  Wow, that’s  mean of me, must be my dark side.

This picture makes me think of the TreeHerders  (the Ents) in the Lord of the Rings when they see the destruction and stumps of their fellow trees.  I like to think of the orbs in the foreground as healing orbs.

This  was my sassafras grove.  I’ve lived here for 11 years, they were here then, and when they cut them down, they were about 12 feet tall.  Not exactly a threat to the electric line and wouldn’t be for another several years.   Why, WHY????

On the bright side, ironically while the giant buzz saw from hell was here the other day, I sold a wall sculpture called “Renewal“.  Is that a sign or what?!  Pretty cool I thought.

I also finished my third chakra painting called “Fearless” and listed it on Etsy yesterday. It’s already been featured in a treasury! I’ll do a post on it later…..

See ya,

Laurie

>Electric Company Bullies

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Today the electric company is supposed to come by and ravage the trees on my property. I thought maybe I should go out there and confront them with anger and intimidation, but when I told my friends of my plan, they exchanged these sideways glances, snickered, snorted, there was even some rolling of the eyes..   My boyfriend laughed outloud.  I’m like “Wha-at?”  Apparently my attempts at anger and intimidation are more along the lines of the kitten in this video. : (   From inside my head, I think I seem really mean and ferocious, but from the outside looking in…..not so much I guess.

You know, I like electricity and all, but this destroying everything that’s 10 ft. on either side of the line is B.S.  For the lines that go through the forest, I can understand it, but this line is right through my YARD!  And my yard is full of TREES!  They even said they wanted to chop down my almond tree!!!!!  When they came to survey my property yesterday, I said to them while hugging my tree, “I’ll chain myself to this tree and you’ll have to cut through me to get to it!!!!  Screw the electric company!!!!”  I’m very upset, I have to admit. 

I jumped through hoops to keep them from spraying very toxic herbicides around my property, so now I guess they’re  going to show me who’s boss and just cut everything down.  Power hungry freakin’ bullies!  Now keep in mind, that none of my trees and branches are a threat to the electric lines, we make sure of that ourselves. My community has been on a rampage against our electrical coop, and  now they’re fighting back.  Apparently war has been declared……

When they get here, I’m going to try being nice but not a pushover.  I’ll show them where we’ve cut our own branches because of the lines and topped off some cypress trees so they know that we’re responsible landowners.  If that doesn’t work, I’m going to try dissolving into tears (and honestly, it won’t be fake because they’re hurting my trees and destroying my privacy).   If that doesn’t work, I may have my boyfriend  put on a stained torn wife beater tank, unbraid his hair (his hair is to his waist), and come out looking wild and crazed waving around a  blazing loud chain saw.  He should be able to pull that one off easy enough if ya get my drift.

If that doesn’t work, I might have no choice but to express genuine anger, cussing and threatening, but chances are I’ll look like the kitten in the video.  Acckkk!!! Stressed Out!!!!

Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Later,

Laurie

>To Blog or Not To Blog

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LOLOLOL, I know I’m probably twisted, but that picture is Hilarious!!!

Someone said to me yesterday, “So Laurie, are you making any money off your blog?”  I stammered, stuttered, shifted uncomfortably from from foot to foot, squirmed around a little, and  said “Ummmm, well, you know, uhhhh…no”.  So then he asks me “So have you sold anything on your Etsy site because of your blog?”  I look around the room checking for possible escape routes and contemplate trying the classic  “OMG, what’s that!” and when he turns around to look, I’m gone.  But instead I said “Well, its…I dunno, you know how it is…..ya gotta start somewhere….I mean, well, no”.

So then his girlfriend chimes in and says, “Ya know, people who read blogs like how-to’s, maybe you should write some how-to’s. that have to do with Etsy”.  A very insightful idea, I must say, but one to which I replied “Good Gawd, it if weren’t for Other People’s How- To’s, I’d still be staring at the computer wondering what the heck a blog is (among many, many other things).  She says “Well you should at least stick to Etsy subjects because the point is to sell stuff, right?”  I moan and groan, roll my eyes and gnash my teeth.  I mean, Etsy’s great and everything, it’s just that when I hear that word “should”, I think of housework….(Me no likey the housework).

I’ve decided that I’ll leave the how-to’s to Other People That Know A Heck Of Alot More Than I
Do, and I’ll just stick to my random, frivolous, impulsive, shoot- from- the hip style even if it doesn’t make money or drive traffic. “Not everything has to be about traffic and money!” I announce loudly with some defiance verging on open rebellion.  FYI, if you want to clear a room, just use a loud defensive tone of voice , fling your arms a little and toss your hair, don’t forget the tossing of the hair….verrrry important.

Now, what organ should I sell to pay my electric bill this month? lol

Later,

Laurie

PS:  Oh before I forget, check out my Etsy Shop Primalpainter-Modern Abstract Art.  I’ll have some new things soon.  I’m working on something today and it’s not a “should” it’s a “want to”……verrrrry important.